I have been meaning to make a post like this for a few months. Projects kept burying me. Life kept happening. Then I got sick and found that something I had partially suspected confirmed, of someone having not just ghosted me by accident but intentionally so but in a manner that had also meant pretending nothing wrong to my face (but behind my back another matter). Such might not bother me so much except some years ago, the person spoke to me as a friend and said as much to others when I thought something off and I gave distance; so my betrayal traumas had been hit regardless of any intent. It had led me to research the phenomenon called ‘ghostlighting,’ defined as exactly what it sounds to some: ghosting combined with gaslighting, which has become more common online because of the lack of accountability online allows. Nonetheless, such issues are just specks of sand in a beach of grains representing all the problems in the world, and I wish to address these other grains in this post, instead.
Many reading this, and many of whom I speak with, I know things have been rough. None of us merely contend with just a busy life, or piles of projects compiling, or our mental health on its own anymore. We deal with the reality of seeing our world become more and more fascist. This especially has become the case for anyone who lives in the United States. Some of us have already spoken of how our freedoms just last year had barely just passed the freedoms people enjoy in places like Russia or those ‘other countries’ we eagerly compare ourselves to when considering how much ‘better’ supposedly the United States has it. I cannot in good conscience say I agree with that these days.
Professionals positions in the government already face potential cuts, professionals in various fields already deal with life-threatening consequences because they chose to speak truth to power or against our leadership. Executive orders passed target the Department of Education, the Institute of Museum and Library Services (ILMS), and more. At present, my job as a librarian may be okay, but with how fast things have escalated since Martin Luther King Jr. Day and the inauguration of one I shall not name on principle (if you know, you know), I am not even sure of that anymore.
I had hoped this year I could not just have another job prospect, a location with better air quality and environment for me, and more time to write, but just to have fun and catch up on projects. Instead, I have been putting some time to Teaching English to Speakers of Other Languages (TESOL) certification and the Test of English as Foreign Language (TOEFL) teaching certification, and looking at what other certificates I need for if I have to move elsewhere. This eats up more of my free time and puts me further behind on projects. My severe allergies have also taken a lot of my energy and I am trying to set my current environment up to insulate myself from such, at hundreds of dollars of supplies and allergy tests; not yet including allergy shots. Alas, I have to deal with all of this in addition to political stress, which I tell you, is real and I am not the only one who suffers from such.
Anyone who has been dealing with political stress, please check out this video by Dr. Thema with the Homecoming Podcast. She has a discussion on this phenomenon and its impact on mental health, as well as some practical ways to handle such. I cannot say I have yet perfected the art, but I try! If people can take anything from this post, it is checking out this video if people cannot consider subscribing to or supporting her podcast. Note, though people call it ‘political stress,’ this does not have the same meaning as ‘making things political.’ Many people who have the left-leaning associations get all the flack of making things political when in reality, it has been a sentiment weaponized by fascists while they themselves go as far as claiming something like human rights and life experiences of others who they wish to repress as ‘political.’ For years, I have been trying to both mind that not everyone wants to engage on topics like this all the time while not letting others berate me or dismiss my feelings as ‘getting political’ just because my existence has been ‘made political.’ For those who struggle with that balance, know you are not alone.
I could go on and on about this, but for now, I am going to end the blog post here. My next post will be all about the terrible political stress going on, but also, I hope, reasons for all of us to live through this if we can. Please be kind to others but importantly: be kind to yourselves.
—Arya