This past week had been quite a ride. A week and some hours before I made this post, I had an impromptu interview in-person as a finalist for a position in central California and adjacent to the Bay area. At the given time, this position did not rank number one on positions I want to live. California’s cost of living is no small renown (or notoriety) for the reputation of the state. I still am sure I could never find a house in the place if I had the position.
Arriving in the area, everyone was serendipitously nice.
My stepfather suggested it ‘fake nice’, and I told him I did not think it anymore ‘fake nice’ than what I might have experienced in the Midwest. Still, everything lined up so well I did find myself questioning everything and the back part of my brain saying, ‘Do not give me hope.’ Yet the vibes continued good. People talked to me, but also helped give me directions. Uber drivers gave me all sorts of advice of the general area. The seafood restaurants had fresh oakwood grilled goodness, but also people willing to socialize with me. Me, who usually just felt like going straight home from work and not socializing with people at all, felt like socializing even if for pragmatic purpose. I had spent so long not wanting to interact with people around me except my colleagues at work and at the dance studio.
Then the interview day came.
Truth to Power Must Still Be Spoken
I took time to walk around town and get a sense of the transportation system. Then I walked around the campus. The first thing that came to my attention was not only seeing Arab American Heritage Month fliers all around, but also signs that said, ‘We stand by our community’ and all the motifs of Black Lives Matter, Pride, and multiculturalism all around. I did not need to look too hard to find any of this, and I smiled. A campus both beautiful in architecture and spirit, it felt too good to be true.
Once I interviewed, I had some of the professional questions, but one theme that came up was my emphasis on diversity, equity, inclusion, and accessibility being paramount to library work. For my final question, of which I feared about asking, I inquired what they had done to address the Immigration and Customs Enforcement (ICE) abductions. They did not seem bothered by the question and spoke candidly about how they had policies put in place before the elections. The short of it, they worked on ways to help students attend campus in safety as best they could.
This gave me a good vibe. Regardless if I receive an offer or not, I could not take a job offer someplace I did not feel at least tried to resist the despotism going on. Two days later, they asked for professional references. Then I attended a protest the following weekend of our regime that calls itself an administration in the United States of America. To say the day wore on me, I say is an understatement. Yet I saw so many protests happening nation wide and the small victories that came as a result.
Still Must Find Joys Amidst Sorrows
Even among the sorrows we face in the world, from the earthquake in Turkey that also impacted Romania and Bulgaria, the attacks in Kashmir, or the death of Pope Francis — all of which I give thoughts and prayers to all impacted — I still try to find joy. I made a delightful set of homemade dumplings, Turkish manti, and later made a chicken-breast based shawarma from a Palestinian recipe. Days later this week, I had confirmation from my supervisor the people I interviewed with had in fact started checking references. With this last bit of news, I am trying not to have too much hope, but now I wait. This place became my top position I wanted if I had a chance to stay in the United States.
Worse happens, I do what I had planned to do and finish my TEFL/TESOL certification and apply to places overseas. My therapist had recently commended me on my progress made over the years on how quickly I recovered from setbacks, especially ones complicated by my complex post-traumatic stress. I am even with all going on trying to do my part to weather the harsh storms.
That is it for now. Until I make my next week’s post, please be good to yourselves!
—Arya
Leave a Reply